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03 October 2012

Cried again

When a day is emo, it just gets emo all the way... An emo day is never a good day.

Baby woke up as I was typing the previous entry... She hardly slept actually. She was tired and cranky yet refused to sleep and constantly wants to be latched in the day. Just now after changing her diaper I was starving so I left her to get lunch in the dining room and she started wailing away shortly. I probably rushed through lunch and a toilet break in a couple of minutes or three. But when I was back in the room she was wailing so bitterly, it probably felt like forever to her. Seeing the poor baby cry like this, I was so heartbroken I broke down and cried too :'(

She's finally sleeping now, but not in deep sleep and she's still latching intermittently on and off in her sleep as she keeps making noise and searching for her food source.

I guess it's all my fault to let her treat me like the ultimate pacifier. But she rejects the various pacifiers we bought and tried on her. She cried so madly when we stuffed a pacifier into her mouth. And like above, well I just can't bear to see her cry for long. That will almost definitely make me cry too. In the end, I always give in to latching her and well... Let that be. It's a moment to cherish, as I mentioned in my previous entry... It won't last for long. The constant latching is killing my back and my arms and makes me so tired, but seeing the satisfaction in her adorable little face makes everything worthwhile.

The tiny little angelic being is turning my world totally upside down and turning me into an emotional wreck over and over again. Yes, motherhood is indeed an overwhelming experience for me.

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